Sunday, August 9, 2009

Moving on After a Breakup - The One Thing You Need to Know to Deal With Breakup Pain

By Jane Mccarthy

Are you in the middle of a painful separation right now? Do you find moving on after a breakup very difficult because all you can think about is your ex? Maybe you've tried everything to get your life back on track, but none of it is doing any good.

I realize it may not be just a small comfort, but most people experience a breakup at minimum one time in their lives, and almost everyone finds moving on after a breakup to be a nearly impossible task. You have a myriad on emotions going through your mind and often you don't even know what day it is.

While in the process of moving on after a breakup, we try many different things-all in hopes of getting back together with our lost love. Some of us keep in touch with our ex, hoping that they will change their mind and come back. Others go overboard and literally beg their ex to come back.

Of course, we only end up feeling worse, cause this kind of stuff rarely takes away the pain. In fact, what normally happens if we maintain regular contact with our ex is that we end up continually opening up the wounds that have been inflicted from the relationship and subsequent breakup. It's like constantly tearing open a scab and never allowing it to completely heal.

Now this is obviously moving on after a breakup in an incorrect way. So, now what would be the right way forward after breaking up? The answer is simple, but not necessarily easy; We gotta have a clean break from our ex!

When I say this, I mean no calling, texting, or meeting your ex in person UNTIL after you have had a sufficient opportunity to heal. Now I know that at times you have no choice but to see your ex, like if you work together. If so, just be gracious to them, but never get involved in any meaningful conversations. Just talk about surface things.

So, you might be asking "when would be a good time to re-establish contact with my ex?" Well, the answer is different for everybody. In most cases, 30 days is enough time to get a clean break and heal your wounds. If in doubt, go a little longer. Now, what do you do with all your free time apart from your ex? Get your mind together-work through all your feelings and thoughts surrounding your ex and the break up. Also, look at things you could do to improve yourself.

Finally, and most importantly, the biggest key to moving on after a breakup quickly is to forgive your ex for hurting you and let go of all the anger and bitterness you hold toward them. Once you let go of these past hurts, you will find moving forward to be a much easier task.

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